Just another day

The guy across the street is mowing his lawn. My elderly neighbor is yelling for his cat - who happens to be named Kitty - to come in the house.  Having just returned from an exhausting day at work, I sit down and stare out the window.

It is really difficult to believe that seven years ago today I was, the world was, in complete shock.  It was my second year teaching, and I was working with my freshmen class in the library.  In a moment of downtime, I jumped on a computer to check the morning news.  Half awake and half paying attention to the students working next to me, I saw a scroll that mentioned a plane flying into the WTC.  My first reaction was not strong. In fact, thinking about it now, I was calm. Surely this must have been a two or three person recreational flight.  In the time it took me to log off the computer and walk to the other side of the library, the truth became clear.

I need not explain the rest.  Everyone remembers where they were or what they were doing when the news became real. Though the entire day seems to be in slow motion, there are two details that stand out in my mind.  Driving home from work, I was listening to AM radio which I never do.  At all the stop lights, I looked around for some confirmation from others that this was actually happening.  Since then, whenever I listen to talk radio a small part of me weeps inside.  The second detail I recall is lying in bed that night and listening for any noise from the sky at all. A plane flying above was a sound that usually disappeared in the hustle and bustle of other worldly noises. Not on that night. Not ever again.

My brother left for Iraq last week. He joined the Navy Reserves a few years ago.  Though I thought that I knew fear after September 11, 2001 -- I now understand on another level.  This is now much more personal than it ever was.  

And yet, I don't feel anger.  I don't want revenge. What I feel is the need for peace. Peace within and Peace without.

I love my brother and support his wishes, and I am proud of him for defending our country. Gratitude and appreciation are words that just do not do my emotions justice.  

So, while I sit at home looking out my window, and my neighbor mows his lawn, I will listen to the everyday noises that have become normal again.  Thankful for the everyday graces that I am allowed to experience, I remember those that died seven years ago today. Hopeful for a future that includes peace and respect, I think of my brother.  Exhausted from a long day, I am grateful to be alive.